My Name is Ịnọ and I escaped a cult.
Updated: 7 days ago
If you read my last blog post, you know I discovered some really heart breaking news about my family and ex boyfriend. Something i think deep down i always knew. I am documenting this here because i am alone and i need to keep everything in one place so my project does not become disorganized. If i become disorganized in my presentation of this truth, you will not believe me. So. Here we go.
My family sacrificed my soul to Dionysus. If you ain’t woo, keep it pushing. I know how this sounds but that’s what they did. They are a cult of Dionysus. I am not sure when it started, but i know that i was meant to be some reincarnated vessel for their plots. I said no. I keep saying no. So their tricks have evolved, im not sure how long this has been happening but they have resorted to hiring men to abuse me so that i would either give up on my dream, or die/kill myself from the abuse.
How do i know?
My dreams ! I keep telling yall how important that is. My dreams helped me fill in all the gaps, straighten out all the wrinkles in time. I’m trying to figure out where to start. I’ve been alive for 33 years. So naturally it’s gonna be a saga and not a three minute video.
Let’s start with my Grandpa Theon Miller …
Grandpa is Married to Ronna Miller. Ronna is not my grandma. She is my grandmas sister so already we are off to a terrible start here, with Theon. Most of my life I just surmised he was a wild nigga in the 60-70s. I know they were into drugs and swinging. I’m just not sure what would possess him to sleep, impregnate, and marry his girlfriends or ex girlfriends sister. Besides a nigga like Dionysus. 😂
So the cult as i know it started with the three of them. Child abuse is a part of the sacrifice. My mom and her brother were abused but Ronna’s daughter my aunt/cousin Sarah was pretty much allowed to do whatever. Which is also abuse but children don’t see it that way you know. Remember Ronna and my grandma Betty are white. So that introduced a whole lot of white people into our family tree.
All while was growing up the white members of our family and their friends would come over and make us fight their kids. It was like that one scene from Django all the time , you know the one. I never fought. I would cry.
In that same house once, i had a spiritual experience that i had just listed as a very intense nightmare up until now. My mother, a half white woman, was extremely jealous of me by the time i was like seven to ten years old. She was a single mother of 5 so a little bit mean to all of us but she laid it on extra thick for me. I was hit, berated, starved or force fed just for being myself. For the life of me i cannot remember the address of this home. I can remember what it looked like there but not the address. My Uncle Theon, her little brother, would force feed me until it induced vomitting when no one else was home. So anyway, forgive me, one night i am asleep and uh this shadow figure jumps on me. And starts punching and then digging into my stomach. It hurts so bad i am like fully potty trained but i am in paralysis and well, i had an accident. Numbers one and two. I was in like first or second grade. I wasn’t having those anymore. Our bedrooms were in the basement. I tried to go upstairs to use the bathroom and clean myself up and it was locked from the outside and no one would open the door.
I’ve studied this memory backwards and forwards. I have a degree in Psychology and Ive studied parapsychology and oneirology independently most of my life. Children’s brains usually aren’t developed enough to produce such specific hallucinations. Those kinds of disorders don’t onset til much later in life. So what happened? Well, i do believe it was an incubi or succubi deliberately summoned and implanted in me by my mother JoAnn Miller and her sister Sara Miller. I don’t know where my mom lives but i know Sara still lives with or visits frequently, the old house in Spanish lake with my grandfather and Ronna- it’s on Labadie avenue. That’s all i can remember. Why would they do this? To a seven year old? Jealousy, friends.
Dionysus is a deity of gluttony and lust. They had to do this work early so i would think it was who I really was. They had to do it during sleep otherwise i would not consent to the ritual. It worked. I did think I was just a nasty thing for a long time. I couldn’t understand why i was so sexually charged and not innocent like other kids. I never did anything to anyone. I worked really hard to suppress the desires i had because i knew they would get me into trouble. I developed an intense and secret masturbation problem before i was eight. I also think they relied on this incubus to like feed them all my sexual energy so they could use it for whatever they wanted. It created false father wound as well. By the time i was twelve, i had gone away to live with James Stidham — this is who I thought was my father my whole life— but he’s not my dad and we’ll get to that. But at 8 i went to go live with him, me and my younger brother Anthony. I returned to my mother around eleven years old. A lot happened there….at 10144 Dellridge Lane. James is proooobably a free mason. He abused us bad. Bad bad bad. My little brother made a recording about how he knew the devil was after him he was like five. He made it on an old camcorder and my fake dad erased it. But so on my moms side we have Dionysus and on my “dads” side we have Satan, i guess. He beat and humiliated us morning noon and night at his fiancés command, her name is DeLisa Moore. She has three kids Monae, Denae and Sharesh Moore. Her children were never abused. We were the sacrifice for them to maintain the luxury they had.
The first time i can remember my mother trying to sell me was after my dad had returned us both to her, she was living in a trap house. It was nice enough inside that nobody really knew that’s what it was. But it was a trap house. Again, we were kept in a basement. Joann had a very serious drug, alcohol and sex addiction problem most of my life, if not entirely. So one night we’re all sleep in the basement and I hear her cone down stairs but it’s extra footsteps with her. Only light in the room is from the bathroom and maybe the blue vhs screen on the tv.
I remember she went into the bathroom with two men and they were doing drugs. One of them i knew , his name was Jaron. He’s dead now he OD’d i heard. But the three of them were in there getting high and speaking in hushed tones—then JoAnn and one man went upstairs and Jaron stayed. She watched him stay down there and stand over us. I watched him masturbate. I don’t know if he could see my eyes open or if it was too dark. I was terrified but I thought, “if i close my eyes. I will not see what he will do next. My siblings were in the room too. But they were knocked out.” So I watched him standing there rubbing himself, and then he just went upstairs. I told my oldest brother the next morning. He was shocked. I think he just put it away, out of his mind. What could he do? He was a kid too. But I think she was gonna let him do something to us for whatever drugs he gave her. He wound up stealing my first guitar instead. Or she gave it to him and lied to me. I had just gotten my period. I was twelve and I remember they kept asking me about it. Like, they were waiting for that to happen before they could offer me up again.
My body is starting to hurt from recanting all this in a room alone — so im going to start wrapping this up.
But the blog will now be about documenting this truth and keeping evidence in public view. My word is bond. I would never make nothing like this up. Who would want a life so heinous?
Next time i write, ill be telling you about how later i was sold/“given” to a different occultist named Daimon Taron Wright who was a serial abuser and drug dealer/addict. I wanted to go with him because I thought i needed a father figure and he would be a solid one. But he was just another handler that probably paid my mom to take me. She really didn’t care about me after that. I didn’t hear from her much. He never did anything sexual to me. Though i do have one dream memory from high school. Like I had the dream then, where he was trying to go down on me in the bathroom and i was terrified. If it didn’t actually happen I don’t doubt he thought about it. By the time I was headed to college he was constantly bragging to his male friends that I was still a virgin. I told him all the time how uncomfortable it made me. Mm — it was a selling point. When I was wanting to go to college out of state I was intensely berated and I know now that this is because he couldn’t sell me from that far away he didn’t have the reach.
So I was coerced into going to Missouri State University , where I believe I was then sacrificed to some fraternal deity. For the first guy Jakal Malik Burrel, it worked. His life music career sky rocketed while mine kinda stayed stagnant and I just kinda became a ghost of myself for a couple years. The second guy who tried to do it Rob Collier, I think it didn’t work because I was no longer a virgin but I had lied. He kept sayin “I don’t know if I can do this”, like it was more than just sex. You know? I lied cause I was kind of afraid of what would happen if people knew I wasn’t, because of how much Daimon had emphasized it. And all the domestic violence I’d seen. I’d learned if you are not the tag but they want , they’ll kill you. So I lied. After this experience , both of them I was really disgusted with myself and fell into alcoholism. During college I believed I was dating the following men I feel like they should all be investigated: Alexander Christian Ross, Christoper Langston Scott, Alexander Ross, Anthony LaBellarte, Jakal Malik Burrel, Big Neph- an Stl rapper who’s legal name I cannot remember. Myke, who’s last name I cannot remember.
After Returning to Saint Louis, from the west coast: Sky — sky is nonbinary and I don’t know their legal name anymore . Khalil Adams. Zado- don’t know his last name or legal name. Don’t know if he was involved. But like I said , I want everyone investigated. im not putting anything past anyone anymore. If this happens to offend anyone I wanna point something out. As a teacher, I was a mandated reporter. Any time I had to make a call, if later we found out for example a child was not abused they really did injure themselves in a freak accident. The parents are never mad at us. They are glad we care enough about their child to follow this protocol. So, be glad I love myself enough to say the truth plainly. And know that if you are innocent that’ll be what’s remembered. Just like I know that for myself. I am speaking from a place of deeply embodied intuition and a lifetime of besting my most hellacious and insidious attackers. My love for myself and my creativity kept me alive through it all. I survived multiple suicide attempts as well. I am not meant to die. I don’t want to anymore because I know that was not my will or a a Gods. Together we are mighty. I still became a singer and a painter and graduated on time. I became a teacher and I was doing really well for myself.
After I graduated and dumped yet another handler I was determined to escape cycles of abuse so I moved away to Portland Oregon. I thought I had escaped the grasp of the network of people seeking to harm me but I hadn’t. Somehow, my rape was orchestrated and that was what caused a total memory wipe.
But I developed a practice that brought it all back. That’s what DreamLand is. I’ve just had trouble getting this project and exhibit off the ground and in front of public eyes because of smear campaigns, going on unbeknownst to me! Foolishly, by 2024 I thought the worst was over and I met Rashaad Ricardo Thomas. I thought he was a real lover, a true friend. But he was just another handler. I’m not sure who hired him, if he was wasn’t hired it means he was tryna kill me on his own separate but equally malevolent volition. This network is wide yall. My neighbors are involved, im pretty sure. Idk their names. Um the woman who owns the church on oakhill..Meghan… idk her last name. She’s involved. Her and her husband. Even Rashaads “sisters” Sarah (last name unknown) and Bri Wilson are probably involved. I think he is some weird predatory polygamist and they were trying to trick me into being some sister wife they could all use and abuse.
My landlord Julie Sommer is also involved. Rashaad is a very evil person. Very very evil. He was poisoning my slowly. And abusing me so carefully as not to break any laws. Withholding food and neglecting me so bad when I fell ill that I developed bedsores. This is the truth. I would renege if I spoke out on social media because I was scared of what he would do. He joked about identifying with the “why” violent acts men do very often.
They really don’t want me to tell the truth. But im going to keep spilling these beans until I have a lush garden. If you’ve gotten this far then know that all of this is what DreamLand is about. My paintings, my songs, and stories…all of it was divine recollection. Puzzle pieces. I finally understand and now I will tell you my story so you can understand too.
DreamLand, is the place in my mind where I will take you.
My Name is Ịnọ , is a self introductory album telling the story of how I escaped my family’s cult of Dionysus, rebirthed, renamed and redefined myself through ancestral/shamanic practices predating big tech and the colonial system we know today. Stranger danger is hella real and I respect that. So im telling you my name first, letting you get to know me, right?
BEFORE we just zoom off in the DreamTime Machine together.
The DreamTime Machine is the vehicle that gets us to DreamLand. There is a crossroads check point — channel selection. This is for folks who resonate so deeply with what I am sharing that it triggers them. Selecting a channel will help you see into the wound a little better. If you feel overwhelmed, just hit reset. This element if designed to help you unwrap yourself from any colonial or otherwise egregious spells you may be under. An unhealed would, made and abandoned with intention is a spell, my dears. I am trying to set us all free.
This is a snippet of the music I composed to break the spell I was under. Second attention sharp!
My paintings are illustrations from a comic book series called DreamLand, that I am writing and there will be albums to accompany the story. Beginining with “Etunse’s Lost Child” a sort of prologue and ending where we are now, present exposure and reclamation. As you visit my world please remember it is real and true. And I am real and true. Most importantly, I am ọgbanje—and this is what makes me so human. Despite the rumors. What does Etunse mean? I am not sure. My real fathers name is Tony. Maybe Etunse is his spirit name, mtube it means Tony in a “lost” language. Maybe Etunse is my ọgbanje mother’s name. Tony Stidham, is my real father. Mm he was honey trapped by my mom and her fake sister Kim, I think. Mmm Baba Tony was really wise and talented like me, flawed too. He was real handsome. He looked JUST like Eazy E. They told me he died of AIDs before I was born. But that’s not what happened. He was murdered and dismembered as the ritual requires, for his gifts. They wanted to destiny swap him. I believe Rashaad was working with others, possibly Sarah who goes by Sarah Jo and Bri, do the same to me. After I kicked him out I found a life insurance policy in my name, that I NEVER took out, explicitly for dismemberment. I’m flabbergasted but I'm not stupid. The last time we were all together my thirty third birthday was coming up and I said I was about to be 33. I said gleefully that it was my Jesus year and they all laughed and one of them said “didn’t he die that year?” They were going to kill me. I was supposed to die by 27 and I didn’t. Maybe 33 was the last year they could do it. I cheated death again, thank you God. And whatever baneful work they say I’m doing on them, is just the deities they serve coming to collect. It’s like that movie Bring Her Back. Somebody got to go when thing you were feeding is hungry again. It’s not ever gonna be me!
Anyway, since my mom got pregnant in the honey trap, it fucked up the spell, and I got the gifts instead. Thats why she’s always hated me so bad! So we gon honor Baba Tony!!! He was a man of the water too. Mēbēngokre. She would always say to me “your daddy think he Brazilian or Dominican” she was telling on herself the whole time. I could scream and cry man. James and Tony were related. Not brothers….maybe cousins. I remember being at this lady’s house all the time that whole family called “crazy granny”, she ran a daycare and we’d stay there with her a lot. I think Tony was her son and she knew something. So everyone just called her crazy. She was nice to me. She smoked a lot and was kinda crass but she wasn’t crazy. I have repetitive dreams of somebody running out her house with a baby or small child and I think that’s real too. I think my mama lied and told James I was his and she made some shit up about Baba Tony to get him knocked for the ritual. This is really evil shit. I don’t have every single answer. But I think she stole me man. She stole me and she been tryna take my life for a long time. That’s why I don’t fuck with her. She pretends like she doesn’t know these things could kill me. She did so much it’s not all documented here.
I remember being hospitalized after the tape in Portland in 2019 and I posted on Facebook “someone call my real dad” — before this I couldn’t reach anyone! I tried man. I really tried. But after I said it it felt like everyone was flying at me not to rescue or nurture me to figure out what I knew. So I stayed in Oregon and I didn’t say shit else for a long time, about any of it . Back then I didn’t know I was working with my deceased daddy’s spirit. But they did. No one would answer my calls because I was meant to die out there. Daimon stole my birth certificate, forged a death certificate or other paper work to be able to take a house that was left to me. When I came back home and people knew I was still alive— they started sending men into my life to get rid of me. I believe him and a woman named Keeshia (can’t remember her last name) who works for united healthcare forged paper work and possibly a marriage so make this possible.
Other women who may be involved: Tonya (CRLN), Lauryn (CRLN) and of course JoAnn Miller/Stidham. She may still be legally married to James. Since I am transgender, i wanted a new name.
So even though it was unorthodox to keep changing it I tried out a couple western names before I was given the Nigerian, Akan and Congolese one I have now by an ancestor who also knew Baba Tony. Those aliases were Casper Constantine Levi, and then Mickey-Ịnọ Kodjo.
My legal birth name is Jamise Victoria Stidham.
The name is choose is Ịnọ Kodjo. I got middle names but that’s nunya.
Please don’t badger me with commands on what I need to be doing, who I need to be calling. Have you seen any movie ever? lol. The cops are always in on it. The protagonist always has to move like he is crooked to win. A trickster is not automatically a devil. if you have any sensible questions, I am happy to answer them.
You know where to find me. 🌷
Signing off.
write your dreams down.
My Name Is Ịnọ.
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